The Book of UmiNico
by Caribous
Summary: In which Umi teaches Nico to stand on her own, and Maki loses her way. Book 2 of Fushidara na Jo Nico. Maki N., Nico Y.
1. UmiNico 1: Prison Visiting Day & Nico

**Summary:**

First UmiNico chapter: Nico and Maki have to confront the distance between them.

* * *

The morning of the "hand-off" to Umi, Kotori of course came with Nico to meet her.

But Umi brought the last person Nico expected to see.

The four of them ordered - Maki ate the same thing the other three had been ordering.

As Nico and Kotori arrived, shamelessly holding hands, Maki looked at them with a shocked and almost angry expression. When Kotori kissed Nico before they sat down with Nico between her and Umi and facing Maki, that only worsened. But Maki's pride reasserted itself, and while she wasn't chipper, she did treat their breakfast almost like a normal conversation.

Bit by bit, it came out that Kotori had told Umi what Nico's mother had requested, and Kotori had promised her. Maki had unbent enough, meanwhile, to ask Umi if she was serious about "Kotori's project," and been visibly chagrined when Umi saaid she probably was.

Maki, too, had then been filled in on Kotori's promise, and Umi had straightforwardly pointed out that if Maki were there, Nico would have even more incentive to really consider what she was doing. Maki asked if she could talk to Nico alone after they all met up. Umi had, of course, been hesitant to do so. She'd pointed out that Nico had nothing arranged that day to justify missing morning classes for. Moreover, she was going to skip tomorrow's study session with Eli and Nozomi, as there was going to be two performances - a short matinee at 12:30, then a fuller performance at six - of Chrysanthemum.

Maki asked, petulantly, if it was okay to ask Nico if she would meet with her, and Umi had agreed. A lot was going on, but she still thought bringing Maki was better than not bringing her. Maki thanked Umi, but also primly pointed out that Nico was supposed to be alternating skipping morning and afternoon classes, so as not to neglect one over the other.

Umi kissed Nico on the cheek as she sat down, and said that at noon would be plenty of time for Nico to tell her what she had decided.

As it turned out, Nico could still not refuse Maki anything. Anticlimactically, she agreed immediately. She'd clearly wanted to talk to Maki the whole week, and wasn't going to pass an opportunity by to do so. She told Maki something that did surprise her, though. That she would justify missing one morning class to Headmistress Minami personally, and that she would simply say that part of her issues with school was her relationship issues with Maki, and that she had to attend to that. The old Nico would never have been remotely that honest. It was as if the small girl's outsized ego and pride had vanished over the course of a week. Nico knew better than to point out that they had, in fact died, along with her hopes and dreams, the minute Maki said they should break it off.

Their private conference over a second coffee ended up being a wrenching experience for both girls.

What Maki wouldn't say in front of Umi and Kotori, she said to Nico once they were alone. She thought the whole process was crazy and would harm Nico more than help her. She said Nico was running away from her problems, instead of learning to solve them on her own, finding her inner strength.

"If Nico had two broken legs, and two broken arms … and … and cancer," Nico answered, "would Maki-chan say that? That Nico shouldn't accept any help, she should crawl from place to place and treat her cancer with herbs she gathered from the deep woods?"

Maki just looked irritated at the question.

But Nico was unperturbed. "Clearly, Maki can't see it - which makes Nico even sadder - but that would be better than how Nico is."

Maki pointed out that Nico seemed okay to her. Nico responded that she had just pointed out that, apparently, Maki couldn't see what was wrong. She repeated her assertion that the fact they had gotten so out of tune with each other's feelings in such a short time simply made her even sadder than she already was. It was something of a stand-off.

Maki hadn't wanted to lose her cool, but she did. "I mean, Nico, you were on and on about how you had your one true eternal love, I must have heard that almost every day. And we're separated for a few days and you're … you're fucking one of our friends!"

Nico looked visibly stricken, even to Maki, who was resisting seeing her that way. That feeling she'd already had, that everyone else was ganging up on her, making her the villain who'd hurt cute little Nico and broken her heart, returned with a vengeance. With it, came all the intolerable pressure she'd been trying to escape for a long time.

But from somewhere Nico summoned the strength to stammer out: "Ni-Nico is just … just trying to survive, Maki-chan. Everyone has a right to try to do that."

Maki couldn't help herself. "And at the end, that's going to help you? Making sex no big deal? Discarding all of your romantic talk? Becoming a … a jaded slut?"

Once it had been said, it hung there. Neither of them could say anything. Finally, surprisingly, Nico responded. Even Maki could hear the sadness and despair now. They both could feel a barrier between them they didn't see a way to bypass, as if they were on either side of a plexiglass window.

""It's good, and what Nico would want, that Maki-chan can't imagine anything worse than that. But Nico knows that being a bottomlessly depressed seventeen-year old failure with no energy and no dreams and no hope is worse." Nico paid for their second coffees and gathered her bag. She gave Maki a sad smile that was worse than breaking down in tears would have been, and said she had to go talk to Headmistress Minami.

Maki was left at a loss, holding her coffee and staring into space.

At noon, Nico told Umi she was in for the week, if Umi was. Umi knew she was barely holding herself together, so she was far more comforting than she normally was. She decided they should have lunch by themselves, since they hadn't had a properly romantic breakfast. Not only had Umi decided to go for it with Nico, that morning, she'd actually prepared a lunch for both of them. She also didn't even comment on Nico's tears throughout the lunch. She simply held her hand.

After school, heading to idol practice together, Umi stopped Nico. "I didn't think so before, but now I think you and Maki are truly at an impasse. Nico-chan, being weak won't help you, and it won't help her. It will only twist the knife in both your wounds. So we won't hide what's going on. I want you to be my warmup partner and stay by my side. I want you to practice like you've never practiced before. Get all the sadness, and the anger you probably aren't even aware of, out. Force yourself. It will make you calmer, I promise."

If Nico was a lot like Umi that evening, only maybe too forceful sometimes, she also did several steps faster and more smoothly than she had the day before. You could see she was focusing on the practice like a martial art. There was none of the posing or deliberate facial expressions. The only time she smiled was when she did one song perfectly, and it was a small smile. She also didn't focus on Maki once, the whole time. With her hair down, she truly looked like Umi, Jr.

Because Nico was so perfect for Chrysanthemum, and so were most of the other actors, they'd been given the night off. It was a good thing, because instead of heading to the Sonoda house, they ended up at the archery range. There, Nico was astonished to see gear in her size. Umi simply said they had gotten it from the middle school. The old Nico would have balked at that. The new Nico was clinging to her last shred of pride, that she'd committed to following this thing through wherever it led. So instead of objecting, she changed, right there at the range. She'd lost a great deal of modesty, and, in all honesty, it would have normally embarrassed Umi, but Nico changed so quickly that Umi simply followed suit. It helped no one was there.

Nico listened to all of Umi's instructions. She didn't even try to loose an arrow. She simply did exactly as she was told. She let Umi string the bow,, then did so herself, let Umi adjust her stance repeatedly, and practiced drawing and relaxing the bow for an hour, focusing on relaxed, non-shaky, slow, deep breaths. Coming on the heels of such an intense practice, it completely wiped her out, and all of her muscles were painfully sore.

When they did get to the Sonoda home, like Kotori, Umi had some light snacks and plum wine. She also had an herbal liniment. They retired to Umi's bedroom. Umi had Nico take off her top (she looked away, of course) and lie on her stomach. She worked the liniment into Nico's muscles. It burned a little, but it was ultimately quite soothing. when she was done, Umi handed Nico a robe, and went to the bathroom. When she came out, both of them were just wearing robes.

"This first time, Nico, I hope you don't mind, but I decided both of us need to drink a lot. We'll probably both be washed out tomorrow, even though Nico has her play debut." Well, that was honest Umi for you. Worse was to follow, though: "Nico really won't want to do this, but I want to set my alarm for an early rise. Then we'll work out, take a hot shower together and a cold rinse, and sweat the poison out of our systems. Even if Nico has to drag herself groggily through the whole thing, I think it will work by noon."

When they got back to the living room, Nico was still in the frame of mind of "I will believe all this when I see it." Umi did hold her hand as they talked quietly. It turned out, Umi had been considering what they might have in common, and had been surprised to realize that it was quite a lot:

"After all, Nico-chan, you really were me. I mean, a bit Honoka, too. And some Kotori and Maki and even Eli. But you were the one who had to be the slave driver, and everyone resented you. I know how that feels." She then raised a point that had occurred to her often. Kotori had told her it was quite freeing to be honest with Nico for once, and she had decided to give it a try.

"The girl I saw in a couple of videos of your trio practicing and performing was in good shape, and doing a serviceable job. Not as good as our group is doing, but close. How did that same girl lose a foot race up a stairs to Kousaka Honoka, of all people, even after cheating and giving herself a head start?"

If Nico hadn't been through this with Kotori, she probably would have clammed up, and probably even cried. But instead, she considered it. By now, she trusted the µ's girls, and especially the original trio. There wasn't any negative agenda behind their questions. They'd wanted to ask them for a long time, and Nico's pride and focus on her image had gotten in the way, was all.

"Well, for two years, Nico really didn't do anything but watch idol videos on an old computer and feel sad."

Umi considered that. Yes, two years of inactivity would do that. And the amount of training she'd had at that point wouldn't let her catch up to Honoka, who had been training at least as hard as Nico. The smaller girl hadn't fully recaptured the motivation she'd had as a naive firstie, either. Umi nodded. "Yes, that does explain that, somewhat."

They had honored their plan by drinking a couple of small bottles of warm plum wine each by then. Umi had them finish another one, then they went to Umi's bedroom, hand in hand. Umi explained that while they'd gotten their ideal order for Kotori's plan, it hadn't hurt that Umi's family was visiting a relative until tomorrow.

It really didn't feel like it had with Kotori. Nico was prepared for anything, and, frankly, just grateful to have Umi's company, even if all they did was have sleepover talk in Umi's bedroom.

To her surprise, Umi said, "Nico, I think I can bring myself to abandon my robe and at least try to sleep next to Nico that way. Of course, I am embarrassed, but I am also determined. Shall we try?" Despite those brave words, she turned away to drop her robe, and hurried under the covers. Nico, who realized wistfully that she was now officially "experienced" at this, followed suit, but without turning away. In fact, she'd carefully watched Umi reveal her fantastic figure from behind, though without saying anything. Once they were under the covers, Umi very gingerly and tentatively hugged Nico. They indeed whispered for a while, mostly continuing their conversation from the living room. Umi's face was a brighter red than Nico had ever seen. She really wished she could take a picture.

She heard Umi mumble something that sounded like the word "idea." Suddenly, she was being tickled. And really unmercifully. She kicked and struggled and dragged herself away and turned and stared at Umi, shocked. Umi was grinning mischievously, an expression Nico had never seen on her before. Nico pretended to look away, then leapt and attacked. She hadn't had endless tickle fights with her siblings for nothing, so she held her own, even in the face of Umi's superior strength and agility.

Eventually they were both laughing and exhausted. The covers had mostly come off of Umi.

Seeing a sight she knew many girls at Otonokiza would kill for, Nico found herself unable to move. Umi laughed. "You're not making this any easier, are you, Nico-chan?" she asked teasingly as she led her back to her bed. As Nico sat down on it, she noticed again that it was much firmer than Kotori's. "Well," she heard Umi say. "I bet we could both handle getting under the covers and holding hands. Are you game?"

Her tone suggested more than hand-holding was involved, and eventually, so it turned out. It was quite different from Kotori, and from Maki. Instead of pondering that, Nico simply tried to mesh with Umi as best she could. Both of them were satisfied, she decided. And the look in Umi's eyes the first time Nico made her have an orgasm was beautiful and touching. She actually had a lot of innocence for such a tomboy, and it contrasted beautifully with her model-style looks.

"This is going to sound lewd, and stupid, Umi, but I don't care about all that anymore," Nico began. "The truth is, I learn more doing this than I do at school. Much more. I learn about … about existing, I guess." Umi laughed happily and said that made perfect sense. She kissed Nico's forehead tenderly and told her good night. A short time later, they were asleep and entwined.

Later that morning, when Umi's alarm went off, Heaven had to be traded for Hell, on short notice.

* * *

**Notes:**

**Cuitural Notes:**  
It's not encouraged, but the fact that the girls from Shion brought beer to drink after the recording session (In the last chapter of Volume 1 - The Book of KotoNico) wouldn't be outrageous in Japan. Kotori wouldn't make a fuss, but if Umi had been there, she (hypocritically) would have.  
As for them changing clothes right at the archery range, bear in mind that in grade school they would have both changed for PE right in the classroom - in front of both boys and girls! And even after Umi, at least, was into puberty. So Umi's shamelessness trigger - which is already being given an overhaul - wouldn't kick in over something so practical. For Umi, for archery contests, for Nico, for acting.


	2. UmiNico 2: Training Day and Nico

**Summary:**

Sleep-deprived, hung-over, Nico faces two hours of hell training from Umi at the family dojo. And that's not even

talking about the fact she has to do two performances of '_Chrysanthemum_' today! Plus, a nasty surprise awaits.

* * *

As promised, Nico was woken up two hours before she normally awoke. And as promised, she was a bit hungover, and extremely groggy and tired. You really noticed the difference between Kotori and Umi when they had their arms around you, Umi really was strong. Nico could now appreciate both sides of the Kotori/Umi dynamic — and she was the only person who could. Maybe Honoka had observed a lot, but not as "up close and personally" as Nico had.

"We are going to do this every day, Nico. Even the last day when you meet up with Honoka, to make sure she's still in. "

Umi had moved to her closet and she was back with sweatshirt and pants that would fit her. She looked at Umi, puzzled.

"These are from my first year in middle school. I kept them because Eli's sister asked for them. I told the Mu's girls I found it and was throwing it out, and Arisa said , no, she wanted them. But when I asked when she wanted to pick them up, she apparently got too embarrassed. Pretty soon, she may be too big for them. Her family runs to tallness."

That made Nico smile. Without any quibbling, she pulled on the gear and went out behind Umi to the dojo.

Much more surprisingly, Umi had all of her kendo gear from middle school, and it all fit Nico very well. Umi, Junior. That was what Kotori had called her. That's what Rin and Hanayo had said she looked like after yesterday's practice. Like everything else, this, too, called for an accepting attitude. She just thanked her lucky stars the equipment was there. Kendo was terrifying.

The first time Umi came at her, even though she had said beforehand she wouldn't contact her, but still charging and screaming - Nico cowered.

Not in the worst possible way, dropping her shinai, huddling into a ball and yelling "Don't hurt me!" which was what she felt like doing. But still, cringing down, using the sword as an umbrella as she drew herself in and hunched her shoulders and bent her knees somewhat, not even looking up.

"That won't do at all, Nico," Umi said, shaking her head. "The whole point of this is that you walk taller, more confidently. Regardless of whom you end up with - Maki or someone else — would you prefer they choose you out of pity?" When Nico shook her head, she continued, "Then, overcome yourself. I am an expert, you're safe, except for a few bruises."

They reset themselves and this time Nico stood tall, though with a small bend for stability, and looked straight at the incoming Umi, whose shinaistopped just in front of her body. "You know," Umi mused, "I almost wish we were training with Maki-chan."

Nico couldn't let that one go by without asking why…

"It's because both of you are strangely clumsy. You both can dance well, when you put your mind to it. On the other hand, I have seen both of you fall over your feet for no apparent reason. There's a kind of disconnect between mind and body you both suffer from. It would do her a great deal of good, make her far calmer, if she simply insisted to her parents that she needs to maintain her health. For doctors, they are inexcusably focused on sacrificing Maki's youthful years, and perhaps her health, to the enormous goals they've set for her. As it is, she's had to fight for what she's doing now, even though it does her concentration, stamina and overall stability wonders. All of which are needed in a doctor. And all of which they'd probably recommend if she were a patient, and not just their only daughter."

"Nico was like that when she joined Otonokizaka. Not getting into UTX, which had just started that year, was so disappointing, Nico determined to work twice as hard, and didn't sleep enough or remember to eat well. It's only lately I remember that, and I can understand some of what Maki's going through."

For two hours, with no let-up, they practiced. Nico swung the shinai in the same arcs hundreds of times. Her arms were shaking, she was all sweaty, and she had bruises. Umi had not caused them in practice per se, but in a way, by a worse method. She had Nico stand still and not respond, other than breathing in, as Umi thwacked her on the body with the shinai using various side attacks while yelling "DO!", thwacked her wrists with the shinai, yelling "KOTE!", bonked her gently on the headgear yelling "MEN!" and swung towards her throat without making contact, yelling "TSUKI!" But it wasn't over, as she then hit Nico with wrist-body strikes and wrist-head strikes, depending on where she had Nico hold her shinai.

When Nico asked why they did that, Umi said it was to separate the actual pain of being struck from the emotional pain of failing to prevent being struck. Nico had to admit that made it less of a big deal. Umi told her she was going to work Nico much harder at kendo, as their primary physical fitness activity, than at archery, which was simply for grace. Though sometimes they would only work out with kendo an hour, and spend the other hour running or doing calisthenics.

"If It ever seems too hard, Nico-chan, just remember: Honoka did this in middle school and her first year of high school. Like you, she promptly let herself get out of shape, though in her case, it took only a summer when she was supposed to be training but didn't."

As they were taking of their gear, Umi said, "Three of us are in the best condition. Me, Eli and Rin. But poor Rin was made to feel self-conscious about her athleticism. The girls at her grade school and middle school treated her like a boy and told her feminine things didn't suit her. If we had known her then, we would have recommended that she always keep her hair long and simply tie it back for sporting events. And that she wear dresses and skirts whenever she felt like it."

"But for two of us," she went on, "Being in good shape has added to our poise and maturity and confidence, I think. I want some of that in Nico as she goes down the hall. The girl that neglected her family, her grades, her friends and her dreams for more than a year to wallow in depression is part of Nico, but it's not all of Nico."

They reached the showers that were part of the dojo. Umi matter-of-factly had them scrub each other all over. She was putting her shame reflexes on hold. The hot water felt amazing to Nico. Umi commented that, once she was used to a routine like this, it would be better if Nico only took lukewarm showers, at most, unless she needed to ease something that had been strained. She told Nico she wouldn't need to moisturize if she simply didn't take hot showers, which stripped away the body's natural oils, and used a gentle soap and a cold rinse.

Two of the three, Nico experienced right then. The gentle soap was fine. The cold rinse was completely awful, but shocked her awake. The Sonodas had a coffee-maker, and Umi had foreseen Nico would need it. Guiltily, Nico recalled teasing Maki about her coffee addiction. Now that she was back on something like Maki's daily schedule, she understood her all too well.

They joined Honoka and Kotori walking to school. Everyone in µ's, with the possible exception of Maki, was going to attend the matinee performance and the evening performance. Honoka looked at Nico sympathetically. Something must have shown in Nico's appearance to indicate how strenuous the last day had been. Honoka and Kotori both looked at Umi expectantly, and she blushed and nodded.

All the way to school, Nico and Umi, and Honoka and Kotori, held hands. It felt completely natural to Nico.

* * *

By the time they arrived at school, Nico was indeed calm, if a bit yawn-y. But the coffee was helping. To supplement what she had at Umi's house, she'd bought a can from a machine on the way there. Kotori and Honoka had both laughed, but in a friendly way. The second coffee seemed to do the trick. Nico could concentrate on her homework and studying, she found. She had to put it away and get ready before the performance at noon, of course. Umi had made a small snack for her, since she wouldn't have time to eat a bento full of food. Hanayo had anticipated that, and met Nico with a very nice onigiri at the school entrance. Nico could eat it while relocating herself around the auditorium.

With everything else going on in her life, she wasn't a bit nervous about her debut as an actress. She was going to do her best, she understood clearly what was wanted, and it wasn't like a scholarship or a contract was on the line. They could very easily all fail, if you were objective about it. The nature of Chrysanthemum was such that it could easily be taken as too artsy for the general student audience. Both the English classes and the History classes would get class credit for attending, which should help, and partly explained why so many were there on a Sunday. Otonokizaka Academy couldn't stand on ceremony.

After the school visit, there had been some hopeful signs, but if Mu's didn't make the cut for love live, or didn't have a bunch of good performances to replace that, then it didn't look good for Otonokizaka's future. Anything they could do to make the school look livelier helped, including assisting the drama and dance clubs and their home-grown school idols, so that's what Headmistress Minami did.

She didn't have to worry, it turned out. Not only were Otonokizaka students there, but also some from other schools, who had friends or relatives who went to Otonokizaka. Even more startling, one of the big draws was that one of the mysterious Otonokizaka idols — who had been rocketing up the popularity polls lately — was going to star in a musical about very mature themes. So Nico was helping to pull in the crowd, without ever thinking about it. It was very ironic.

Well, not never thinking about it. The park concert with A-RISE had probably brought half the people all by itself.

Even Maki went, probably out of Mu's loyalty. She was silent during the whole abbreviated performance — some of the narration had been condensed, and so on — but she did applaud at the end, before leaving abruptly just like she did after practice.

The students were, miraculously, charmed. They muttered to each other that it was like seeing a professional performance. In truth, the drama club, though humble and jovial, was a hidden gem that Honoka, Umi and Kotori hadn't considered when they were trying to list good things about their school. Some in the audience compared it to the Takarazuka revue — which nearly all could only have been familiar with through videos.

Because they were told at least a third of the play had been cut out for the matinee, many students pledge to attend the after-school performance as well. The performers got a standing ovation, mainly because the Mu's girls and Hideki, Mika and Fumiko stood up and cheered so strongly. Because her thoughts ran that way naturally, Nico wondered briefly if Maki had had any piano recitals since they got to know her. If so, no one she knew here had gone to cheer her on.

* * *

"What made you want to do such an unusual play?" the reporter asked. The write-up should be small, and probably not include any quotes, but it never hurt to ask. That it had been made into an American movie, but never before performed in Japan, made a good this cute young actress wanted to do serious, artistic plays and would have good insights.

"Well," Nico replied, pensively. "Umm … I was recruited by Kaneko Kanako-san, and by my fellow school idol, Minami Kotori. And then Kanako directed me, and that's about it. She knows all about the play. I just wanted to do my best." She hoped that wasn't a terrible answer.

At any rate, the reporter did turn to the director with future questions. Nico had to admit that even in her new, calm and subdued existence, it was a bit heady to have a school play written up in a newspaper.

* * *

Nico had gotten congratulated by girls in every class. µ's had decided to have a special practice which she'd have to skip, of course, but that should be over in time for the Mu's girls to attend, which all the ones she was still talking to pledged to turned out Hideko, Fumiko and Mika were helping with the evening performance. They were auditorium experts by this point, and even familiar with Nico's singing needs.

Mama Yazawa had taken the very rare step of getting a babysitter for Cocoa and Cotarou. The play was too mature for them, and Cocoro had wanted to see it, badly, so it would have been cruel to deny her. Nico remembered, guiltily, that that had been a little more common when she was wallowing in misery in the club room every evening and telling her family it was idol practice.

Next to her mother, on the other side from Cocoro, was Principal Minami. Nico didn't think they'd gone to the same schools, but they seemed to know each other, nonetheless.

Nico hadn't really enjoyed the matinee performance that much. She felt stressed and the whole production felt too rushed and abbreviated. Kanako had told her that adapting to that was part of an actress's training — and a director's, too. She said they'd managed not to lose their audience with the plot, and to get good rumors circulating for the evening performance, which was all you could ask.

Maki had, of course, not been there. If Nico and her had still been speaking, she would have wished to see her for this one, when she could give her utmost to her role, instead of the matinee, but she counted her blessings. Actually, she had been too focused and busy to be sure, but it felt like the Mu's girls had been bothered by something they weren't sharing with Nico. She didn't want to assume what it was, and anyway, tonight was for the play, and, if she was honest, for Nico.

Everything went perfectly, except perhaps her interview with a reporter afterward (she guessed that, too, was something she needed to train on, now that reality was catching up with hopeless fantasies). A couple of the Mu's girls and a few others in the audience were actually crying (it was a strange comedy with a lot of drama). And the standing ovation this time didn't need to be prompted. The other cast members told Nico she'd been the catalyst they needed, and they asked her to try to commit to one more play this term. After this performance, the club would get a few new members, they guessed, and they could recruit a full cast from the student population on a one-time basis. Nico agreed. No doubt this policy of agree to everything would crash up against her limitations sometime soon, but until then, she was going with it.

To see her family, her friends, her school being so proud of her, started to heal some things that had been broken inside Nico for a very long time.

* * *

They had expected to practice without Nico, but Maki didn't show up, either, even though she'd been informed of the Sunday session. Despite their worry, they realized they needed practice as much as ever. The group was excited about seeing Nico debut in a musical after today's practice, and it inspired them to practice harder. Who knew whether the publicity wouldn't end up helping them? They'd all heard that the association of Nico with Mu's had been a big draw for people going to the play. In addition to being happy for Nico, they knew Kotori and Umi had been working hard to get Nico back on her feet, and they were happy for them.

Maki did arrive, towards the end of the practice hour. She was in her school uniform. With her, she had a binder full of Umi's songs, and a CD.

She walked over to where Honoka was standing and handed her both.

"I'm sorry," was all Maki said at first.

Then she steeled herself, though she looked down a little.

"I quit."

With that, she opened the door to the stairwell and went through it, not looking back.


	3. UmiNico 3: Events of the Day & Nico

**Summary:**

A closer look at the events of "Chrysanthemum's" debut.

* * *

If Nico was able to give a touching performance, it was because she was touched, herself.

The British actress who played Chrysanthemum in almost 150 performances had her own reasons for identifying with her drugged, dishonored character.

First, apparently American movies had wanted her, but the producers made her go on diet pills which caused a breakdown.

Second, she was suspected of having an affair with a member of the royal family — the Queen's consort — which she denied all her life. In the performances, her real-life husband played John, and he'd been so sensitive to her reputation he had them rewrite 'Sinner Me' so much it became almost meaningless. Then he requested it not be put on the album that accompanied the show.

So it was impossible for Hana or Kanako to find a recording of it. It turned out they had had to hammer out the tune for 'Sinner Me' by themselves by finding the sheet music, and recover the original lyrics. That was dedication.

Their final hammering-out was what Nico had been exposed to the first time she entered the clubroom.

Nico identified with the actress, a determined woman from a modest background much like her own, and with the character. She felt like if her current situation were well-known, she'd be judged poorly, though not as badly as Chrysanthemum, whose own family threw her out on the street after she made her way back from being kidnapped and enslaved.

They had actually had to excise a few songs in addition to some dialog in order to be able to perform it in a reasonable time with a "skeleton crew." Nico was introduced to a funny term they picked up when studying British theater. To tell Nico not to laugh in one scene, they said, "Don't corpse-suru!" Apparently, corpsing meant laughing, for example, when you were supposed to be dead. The combination of skeleton crew and corpse-suru, unfortunately, made Nico laugh during rehearsal, but, thankfully, not during the performance. It didn't help that Sana made her laugh, especially with the way she imitated the original John by trilling her Rs excessively.

Kotori ended up backstage, helping with the many, rapid costume changes, though the rest of Mu's, minus Maki, had been able to sit up front and marvel at her work. They were joined by A-RISE, whose mini-concert with Nico was probably the biggest draw getting people to come to Otonokizaka on a Sunday for an experimental old-fashioned American musical comedy about sex and drug trafficking. It had demo-ed the play a bit and created word of mouth. The draw of Mu's being homegrown, strong idol contenders and hence, semi-famous, had done the rest.

At the matinee, they had been deeply impressed with how many songs Nico had learned in such a short time. The Yazawa family had told them that Nico had been singing Chrysanthemum songs around the house non-stop, to the point where they were a bit tired of them. But in any event, Nico was definitely the quickest song-learner in Mu's. They had just never considered that fact before. That was the one point during the matinee show that Maki almost said something. She obviously was aware of Nico's ability to learn lots of songs quickly. But she must have thought better of talking, because she hunched down and put on a blank expression.

During the night time performance, Nico sang three more songs. She dominated the show — a sign of how impressed the drama club had been with her. Her "rough, untrained voice" ended up being perfect for her role, and her attack on the songs was both beautiful and as varied as the songs demanded. Just doing her best and not caring how she was judged turned out to work better for Nico.

When it came to singing in English, she was no Kotori, who was usually flawless, though with a cute touch of a Japanese accent。But Nico was probably second best. And something about this performance brought out the best in her. All four actresses were respectful and helped each other do their best, although the spotlight was more often on Nico and Sana. Hinata did a great job with her song — in Japanese so as not to lose the audience — lecturing Nico to not be a slut and beware of men. When Nico immediately sang Sinner Me as a "too late!" response, everyone laughed. Nico sang only one long song in Japanese - again so the audience would not lose the plot — and it really stood out.

It was the best performance of her life, and she didn't even mean for it to be.

* * *

Umi watched Nico sleep. Her blissful expression made it all worth it. Tonight was not the night to tell her about Maki - it was Nico's night. She'd even be in the papers! The director had made a point of singling her out for praise — her talent and dedication both. Tomorrow would be time enough for bad news. Maybe on the way to school with Honoka and Kotori. Nico had been tired but enthusiastic tonight. It was only Umi's second night having sex. She pondered what Nico had said — that you learned a lot 'doing it.' You really did. Nico deserved to be how she was that night. Utterly at peace.

Umi resolved to be the same way. In order to quiet her mind, and her conscience, she decided she would reach out to Maki. Probably the next morning while Nico was drinking coffee. They had neglected talking things out with her for far too long. Since she clearly felt they were all turning against her, Umi would simply ask her for "her side." Not that she or the rest of Mu's looked at it that way, but Maki certainly did. It was best to start with where the other person was, rather than where you wished they were. And with that, and tired out from making love with Nico, Umi did manage to get to sleep right away.

* * *

Since Nico was a big part of why she was cutting ties with Mu's, Maki had no idea why she went to the preview of Nico's downloadable album. She felt a little bad that she hadn't gone to her big performance, though she realized Nico wouldn't be surprised by now. Probably the rest of the school would note her absence. Well, it wasn't her problem anymore.

She also couldn't have said why the first song she picked was the angry song about Nico thriving to spite her ex-lover, who wished her ill. It would only make her feel worse. Only the first minute was available in the preview. Maki drew in a sharp breath. Hearing Nico's voice saying what she was saying ...

**"There is someone that will hear this, and she will think it is about her. It is not you. ****It**

**could never be you. Never, ever would I see you like this. I want you to know that." .**

It felt like a shock of cold water to her entire body. It was almost a relief when the sample ended. On re-listening, she realized it was a dirge disguised as an angry cabaret song. That figured.

The preview shifted to "Blue Spirit Blues," and Maki could feel what a sheer cry of torment it was. She felt her cheeks get wet and she decided to lay down without closing her laptop. Suddenly, any efforts she could make to control herself were futile, and her body shook with sobs until she finally cried herself to sleep.


	4. UmiNico OMaki: Emails with Umi and Maki

**Summary:**

We catch up with the flash-forward from the start of the The Book of NicoTori. Things are worse than anyone guessed; Seeds of hope are planted.

* * *

_**Maki-chan:**_

_**Kotori has been keeping track of what happened in her journal, and I decided to do the same. Without even addressing what went on yesterday, can I ask a favor? Would you give me your side of what's been going on? It seems like forever we haven't been talking about things like that. It will help me understand better, and if there is anything you think is okay to pass on to Kotori, please let me know that, as well. If nothing else, I would hate for bitter feelings to arise and linger, after such an auspicious beginning. I would hate that for our sake, but also for Maki's sake. But it's just a request, and I will understand if Maki-chan can't or won't agree to it.**_

_**Umi**_

* * *

Umi:

Thank you for asking me to give my side of this situation. It felt as if I was being cast as a villain, when in reality all of this should have been my business, and Nico-chan's. If this is somehow being preserved to evaluate this crazy, unpleasant period, then I will include what I have written in my own journal, though I will express it more formally.

I am Nishikino Maki, 15, first-year student at Otonokizaka Academy.

The background is that both my senior, Yazawa Nico, and I got in over our heads in our first love affair, and when I came up for air, Nico-chan refused to do so. When I said Nico and I should take a break from each other, she was devastated, but her obsessive feelings were the main reason I wanted to have some space. Although I am only 15 years old, I am already under a lot of pressure — to have perfect grades, to excel as a composer, and now, to do all the other things an idol does, even though they're all strange to my experience and contrary to my inclinations. On top of that, to be the lover of an older girl who wants me to make up for years of loneliness and pain was too much for me, and there is some shame in admitting that, but not a lot.

I wonder what keeping a record of this project to supposedly heal Nico through dating her can accomplish? Who, besides us nine, could possibly ever read it? Her family? The public? Perhaps it will serve as a reminder to Nico, but that's assuming that it doesn't further stress her, now and later. I would have thought she needed time to herself to reflect on her feelings and to become more independent again.

I am sorry Nico is so vulnerable, and I fear the worst. But I don't know the details of the so-called plan to help Nico, and that's fine. The facts are that Nico and I are no longer together, and that several of the members of our idol group plan to be her temporary girlfriend in the next couple of months. In order to de-mystify their first time, apparently several girls have said they would even sleep together, which I find hard to believe. That Umi, in particular, would ever be part of something like that is simply impossible.

I still have tender feelings and good wishes for Nico-chan, but I accept that I can no longer tell her what to do, or tell other people how to help her.

* * *

_Nico had never missed a practice with her own idol group. She had never missed a day she could possibly hand out fliers. She never missed a mu's practice, either. Actually, for purposes of performing she was still okay. And in practices she was gentle and docile, if very quiet. None of Nico's pride or stubbornness seemed to be left. In fact, she seemed grateful to have people tell her what to do. She was still very tender and caring to her family, but her siblings were frightened at how often their sister would simply start crying silently now. It was pretty clear that her defiant spark was gone. She reminded the others of Hanayo and Kotori without the flares of enthusiasm or mischief. Maki got tired of being stared at, and started leaving the second a practice was over. She didn't talk to Hanayo and Rin very much. They felt like they were being pushed to take sides, but the mu's girls told Maki once when Nico wasn't around that they didn't blame her, they were just upset._

* * *

You are all acting like Nico is going to die or something, just because for now we aren't together. I never even said we'd never try again, you know. She just assumed that. And by pandering to her fears and insecurities, I think you're only making everything worse. Yes, she's burying herself in activity - just like she did in her first year. And what if, just like in her first year, she burns out and goes into depression? How will you all react then?

Also, yes, this is of course hurtful for me. I feel like I am receiving two opposite messages from Nico-chan: I can't live without you! I can replace you in a few days! And it seems none of you are even caring what the school will think — of you, or of Nico.

Most of all, however, it's not my problem any more. If you have ideas that are not crazy to help Nico and I reconcile, I am not going to be stubborn. I admit I underestimated how badly Nico felt. But that's not healthy. Do I even have to point that out?

As for general matters, I may be able to help you, Mu's, out with a song, or perhaps two at a stretch, the rest of the term. I will play the piano just to relax, after all, so I might as well sometimes do that. Most of that time will be used to catch myself up on my recitals. I only have two this term, so it's doable. Right now I am feeling at best mixed emotions about Mu's and its focus on Nico, but with time I should be able to calm down and remember all the good things.

Since I am already saying things I should not have to say, I will mention that, of course, hurting Nico was the furthest thing from my mind at any point along the line. What I said was hard to say, and now it's been made much harder. This was my first, and unlike Nico, only relationship, so I have to adapt and improvise as I go along.

Maki

PS I am also feeling great surprise that you, of all people, are going along with this so completely. That is how I am feeling on my side. Somehow, that felt like "the last straw" on the camel's back.


	5. UmiNico 4: Yazawa-san & the Seven Muses

**Summary:**

It's the morning after Nico's triumphal day; time to face the Mu's-ic.

* * *

**Are you going away with no word of farewell?**  
**Will there be not a trace left behind?**  
**Well, I could have loved you better,**  
**Didn't mean to be unkind.**  
**You know that was the last thing on my mind.**

Tom Paxton 1964

* * *

The morning's training didn't feel half as bad, so Nico even went along with a lukewarm shower. Both Umi and Nico were more comfortable with contact in the shower, but it still felt a bit naughty and sexy for them.

Umi went into her room to do something while Nico drank coffee. She was thankful (again) to Kotori for training her that, even with only one week together, you still had to give each other space, especially to do necessary things. As she had done at the Minami house, she caught up with her studying. By this point she was already almost as good a student as Maki, Eli or Umi - her old habits from first year were coming back — and she was caught up by the time Umi came out and said they should leave for school.

This time, when Honoka and Kotori, who were looking quite sombre, looked at Umi expectantly, she shook her head.

"I emailed her, and she replied right away. I think it's worse than we guessed, but she was nice enough about it, and she sent me a long reply. And no, I was not going to tell Nico yesterday."

Nico looked at her, quizzically.

"Nico I was emailing Maki-chan. She quit µ's yesterday, during practice."

Nico nodded, and her grip tightened on Umi's hand, but she didn't speak. They continued on their way in silence.

The fact that Nico said not a word on the way to school made the other three girls feel subdued, as well. Of course, it wasn't unexpected. Umi was right not to tell her yesterday, both of the other two girls thought.

* * *

Be that as it may, the fact is the first person Nico talked to that day after they left Umi's house was, in fact, Maki-chan.

And Nico initiated it.

"Let's talk, Maki-chan. I know it didn't work out the last time we tried, but things have changed."

"How can I? We're both supposed to be heading for class."

"I have a free pass from the headmistress to skip classes, so it's just you. I am going to go with you, if you're agreeable, and tell your teacher I need your help with something. It's chemistry, and it's your best subject, and you could practically teach the class yourself."

"Well, not quite, but okay. I agree. Our last conversation left me feeling bad, I can only imagine how you felt. But ..."

"But?"

"But we're going to the kissaten nearest to school, not that French one that you meet your dates at."

"Deal."

Maki's teacher was fine with Maki leaving, and gave her a note, after she told her where she was going, and with whom. Minami had mentioned in her hearing that she was letting some students, including Yazawa, skip classes in the morning or afternoon to prepare for their education after graduation. It was a fairly common practice in senior year. And Nishikino's flair for chemistry made her a little nervous. She had to assume from her bored expression that she'd welcome a chance to take a break, and that she'd usually learn faster on her own. And she had heard the rumors floating around. If they were really dating - though the rumors of who Yazawa was dating seemed to have multiplied - then probably she hadn't picked Nishikino at random. Or perhaps she needed composition help, since Nishikino was said to be their composer. Anyway, they were headed to the nearest coffee shop, so they probably weren't up to anything they shouldn't be.

Maki noted with both amusement and a touch of sadness that Nico didn't even unconsciously try to hold her hand as they walked to the kissaten. Of course she didn't.

* * *

When they'd ordered, Nico got right to the point.

"First things first. I won't ask you to come to practices, or neglect your other tasks to do music for us - even though, you realize, I am going to have to take your place, and that means Kotori will mostly be on her own with costumes, but that's okay, you are still the busiest one among us, and we're properly grateful for all you've done for us. Umi said she emailed you but not what either of you said. Anyway, anything you feel moved to do is good enough. But I have a ... well, a spiritual request that you take back quitting. Even if you have to be a ghost member, I want µ's to be the nine of us. If it's not, I predict things will fall apart, just like they did the first time, with me, so this is a dead serious ... well, really important request, I guess?"

Maki couldn't get a word in, as Nico said it all in one breath. But when Nico paused, she said, "You sound like Nozomi, now."

"Well, I've known Nozomi longer than any of you, even Eli, you know."

Maki knew that very well. Nozomi was the reason she hadn't been Nico's first kiss. Which, if the situation were reversed, the super-romantic Nico would have been sad over. Maki wasn't thrilled about it. They'd been "practicing kissing," and probably would have even started going out if Nozomi hadn't discovered Eli. Then again, at least she and Nico had actually taken the plunge, which Eli had shown no signs of doing, even after more than two years of teasing. So she nodded.

"And I've rarely gone along with her mystical stuff, right? So this isn't quite that. But remember, we all pledged that µ's was the nine of us. No more, no less. Maybe she motivated us, but we still did. So if it's just the rest of us, it feels like we're less - we're diminished. It also feels bad and wrong to be on bad terms with Maki-chan. And so, since this is hard, and the odds are against us, and so on ... well, one thing and then another and it's easy to skip a practice and then another one. And then someone like me or Umi has to get mad and then you feel like, wow, why am I doing this when we said we're all together or nothing?"

Maki, unfortunately, found that all too plausible. Was that how Nico's group had died? She realized that they'd all unconsciously assumed Nico was at fault there. But now that - and it hurt to admit Kotori was partly responsible for that - she was getting a glimpse of how Nico was when she joined Otonokizaka, she realized that it could just as easily be misfortune. After all, with only three actual members, the vulnerability was much greater. Or would be normally. If Nico was right, Honoka's group was just as vulnerable, thanks to the "µ's is the nine of us" philosophy.

So what Maki was really doing now, if so, was deciding all their fates. She could derail them and all their hard work, hopes, and optimism would be wasted. She fully realized then just what Nico was getting at, and why she wanted to talk. Nico hadn't just been being a bitch to Honoka when she freaked out over her being the leader. Nico really was a natural leader of sorts, although fairly flawed at the same time. She was taking the initiative. More than any of the rest of them, she knew on her own hide how much was at stake, and how much it would hurt if it all crashed and burned. Even though the last time they talked, Maki had berated her for being a slut and sleeping around with their friends - which must have half-killed her, coming from Maki - she was bravely jumping right back into it, and without any rancor whatsoever, making Maki understand what was at risk here.

To stall for time to think, she asked Nico a "stray" question."How did you compose songs for your group? I didn't think you played an instrument, even?"

"You're the first person in µ's to ask me a single, solitary question about my group, you know. The truth is, I can play a little piano. I would plunk out a melody and some chords on the same piano you used, in the music room. Then I would use Mimi's keyboard and her computer and we'd mix it and edit it and do another track on top of that, and so on. MIDI stuff with pretty good instruments."

Nico paused, then said, "And besides, idols don't write their own material in the real world - that's singer/songwriter territory. So we composed the bare minimum to meet the requirements of competitions, and the rest were pop songs that were already out there. Mimi and Yuzu, one of our ghost members, were in literature club together, so they would write lyrics and we'd work back and forth until it sounded okay and was within our technical abilities."

She had just been giving Maki time to think, so now she said, "And I want to know what we can work out so you aren't quitting µ's, just taking a break."

Maki had had enough time to answer, now. "Pretty much what I wrote Umi. I said I could do two more songs for you this term. But you've convinced me, so ... if you want me to dance and sing on one song - a song I've already learned and practiced - I will. If you make it in to Love Live! I won't even mind one rehearsal first. And you can continue to list my name in all your µ's stuff."

"Okay, how about contacting you?"

"Ahh ... yeah," Maki said. This wasn't going to be pleasant at all. "The thing is, I really do want a break from you, still. And from just being part of NicoMaki. And I started to feel like all of µ's was becoming an extension of you, so ... not you. And not Kotori. And not Umi. And if I am reading it right, not Honoka. Not Nozomi. So ... Eli, Hanayo or Rin. Anyone else, only if they're not available."

To her surprise, Nico only nodded. It was easy to forget that the impoverished, ambitious girl had that side to her, too. She could put aside her feelings when it was important.

Because they had hashed out everything in a few minutes, they had a pleasant time, surprisingly. They chit-chatted about various things and avoided hot-button topics. But Maki decided, when they were going to have to leave soon, to say something.

"Listen, Nico. Without changing my mind, I want to say you know best for you, and whatever you need to do, you have my blessing. I can give you advice, but that's as far as it should go. And I respect you, and your feelings. I was terribly out of line not telling you that. And also ... I don't know what Kotori was thinking. I won't make this all about a fight between her and me, don't worry ... but what you said before that song on your album ... well, thank you. It meant a great deal to me."

Nico teared up. Yeah, that was another thing. "And it was also out of line when I said we should take a break, that I was upset that you cried. Of course you did. It came out of the blue, and you were obviously crushed."That made Nico cry a little more, but it wasn't a broken, despairing thing like before.

When they made their way back to Otonokizaka, of course they didn't hold hands, but both of them had a little more peace in their hearts.

* * *

As they parted ways at school, Maki hugged Nico impulsively. She probably hadn't even done that when they were dating. Nico being such a constant "glomper." Nozomi and Eli caught that, heading to their next classes, and both smiled. Maki could see them, and she frowned, but they didn't stop or say anything, and she turned away and headed for her class. Nico now caught sight of Eli and Nozomi, and joined them. That must explain Maki's sudden small frown. It was probably good to distract herself from how she felt being hugged by Maki, anyway.

"Listen. We worked stuff out, but only Eli, Rin or Hanayo should contact her directly for a while, okay?" Was the first thing Nico said. Both Eli and Nozomi's faces fell on hearing that. "Also, we can, and should still list her as part of µ's. We can explain that she got too busy to fully participate, which has the advantage of being mostly true, and she told Umi she could do two more songs for us. I got her to agree to dance and sing on one song she already practiced, if we make it in to Love Live! which I think we're on track for."

Nozomi's face lit up at that, though Eli remained skeptical. "Rin and Hanayo I get, but why me?"

"It could be a lot of things, Eli, like, you were always a role model, and stuff. But I think it's mainly you weren't convinced by this whole project thing, right? So she probably wants someone she can talk honestly to without causing a fight. That's my guess."

Nozomi looked thoughtful at that. In truth, she was thinking "As usual, Nicocchi knows Maki's mind best. God, I hope she makes it through all this. It's like she was born to love Maki, some days."

* * *

Over lunch Nico checked in with the drama club and committed to their next play - one of the three major parts - and tentatively, to the one after that. But she would only be the understudy for one major part, and would probably play a supporting part. By that point they would be occupied with Love Live! anyway, she guessed.

Wait. Today was the first day since Maki told her she wanted to break it off that Nico had taken an initiative. This wasn't Umi or Kotori testing her limits. This was Nico. She decided she needed to start watching to see if she was taking on too much - she suspected she was - and whittle back her responsibilities somewhat, if so. After this week, she would ask Umi for something that didn't take 3 hours a day to do (two hours of kendo or running and one of archery) but still kept some of the benefits of the severe regimen going. And maybe one of the others could help with composing, too.

Lunch went a little more happily after that thought.

At the end, Honoka had told Nico she would have something for her for the next practice, but wouldn't specify what it was.

* * *

After practice that day, Nozomi and Eli reported what Nico had done. They all knew how hard that had to have been, but Nico hadn't complained, hadn't praised herself, she'd just done it. Honoka and Kotori also thanked Umi for reaching out in email that morning. However, the other seven µ's girls muttered among themselves as Nico was changing. When she turned around, they said "Three cheers for Nico! She saved us!"

"Banzai!"

"Banzai!"

"Banzai!"

* * *

**Notes:**

**I don't want a Mu's without Maki-chan!**

**This chapter begins a drift away from continuity.**

Theoretically, Maki quitting, if she was talked out of it later, could have been just a blip, and they'd still have Honoka accidentally sabotaging their first Love Live! foray, Kotori leaving, Honoka giving up, Nico freaking out, Maki stopping her, Hanayo bringing the news of a second Love Live!, etc. But with Maki taking a break, Nico (and someone else) composing, Honoka dating Nico and thus not feeling isolated and worthless, µ's will make it in to the first Love Live!, Kotori will reschedule her overseas scholarship, and they will show what they can do in their fledgling mission against A-RISE! (and without Maki, for the most part). It's a divergence that will only grow a little, not a "butterfly effect," but it's officially leaving the canon story as of this chapter.


	6. HonoNico OMaki: Digging Up Old Songs

x


	7. UmiNico 5 Old Memories and Nico

**Summary:**

Even Umi is excited.

* * *

Nico was sure she was mishearing. Or day-dreaming. Or just plain dreaming.

The music sounded exactly like ... but it couldn't be.

Still, she mused, that was probably - no, certainly — her best one. They'd all been fresh out of middle school, after all. And a favorite sweets and pastry store closing down would be a familiar image to their peers. She had put a lot into that one — all the love she had for her family, her yearning for her father, and, yeah, the way sweet things had always comforted her, just like wearing the cardigan her father bought her (that she never seemed to outgrow) did.

The other girls had been amazed — and even assumed Nico might have been dumped in middle school. They immediately saw her as the most mature in the group, even though she looked, honestly, three years younger than the others.

The more she listened, the stronger the similarity became. Could someone — and, whoa, that someone would be Maki, wouldn't it — somehow have found it and be re-working it into a µ's song? And if that was true, however unlikely — how would Nico feel about it? Mostly happy, she decided. Anyway, her part of The Project was still "Go along with everything," after all.

More and more convinced that was what was happening, she opened the door to the roof. What she saw then stopped her in her tracks.

Maybe this is what being drugged feels like? She wondered.

Two girls she'd recognize anywhere were dancing together, and two other girls were in the background, supporting them.

When they saw Nico, they all immediately said, "So! Everyone! All together now!"

And it was so surreal, Nico almost lost her voice. Almost.

But it was going to be a strange day indeed that Nico couldn't squeeze out a "NICO NICO NII!"

Not only did Mimi, Agaha, Rin and Yuzu all respond with their own "Nico Nico-Nii!" but followed it up with "In the whole galaxy?"

Nico couldn't help laughing as she yelled out "Number One!"

Mimi and Agaha, the principal dancers, moved apart, and beckoned Nico to join them in the center.

How on Earth had they done any of this, let alone so much? But Nico wasn't being given time to think. What had Umi said? "You and Maki have a strange disconnect between your minds and bodies, and it makes you oddly clumsy at times."

As Nico fitted herself into place, she let everything go — even thoughts of Umi, who had been uncharacteristically excited that morning after they showered and headed for school — almost like Honoka or Hanayo, impossibly weird for Umi, who must have known about this all alon - no, turn, turn, spin and step. The only way to survive this encounter was to let more than a year and a half disappear, and just be the person she had been then. And above all, Nico, don't think. Nanananana I can't hear you, mind!

Amazingly, it worked. For one thing, she really had trained herself, in just a week and a half, to let go a bit. And of course, everything she'd done with her group, including for "Mou ama-sa wa arimasen" (There is no sweetness anymore) she'd incorporated into her dance choices with µ's, which had added variety, so it made the other girls happy, as well as being easier for Nico.

A flood of competing emotions rushed through her, but she ignored them. Careful not to strain her voice — she'd learned that the hard way thanks to Kotori - she joined the other girls, all four of them, on the chorus, then waited a microsecond to realize she was supposed to sing solo, and did so. Well, she'd written the whole song, that time. Mimi and Yuzu hadn't even written the lyrics. No doubt, Maki could drop right in to Aishiteru Banzai even two years later.

When it was over, the other four girls looked at Nico tentatively. She could indulge her negative emotions, of course. She could even snub them. There was a small, deeply, deeply hurt part of her urging her to do just that. She didn't even give herself time to ponder that before she threw her arms — well, as far as tiny arms like hers would reach — around Agaha and Mimi. Yuzu and Rin (would she have to call her Nitta-san to avoid confusion with the µ's Rin?) joined them. All of them had tears streaming down their faces. So did everyone present from µ's. It was the definition of a tearful reunion.

But Nico now had questions, and they were burning ones.

"How? Why? How?" she spluttered. The four girls who had formed the Idol Research Club with Nico all laughed. "Some things don't change, Nico-chan!" said Mimi.

Agaha continued. "The Why is we wanted to surprise you, of course, but also to see what it was like for you now. So we practiced with three of your members. Wow! No wonder you're competitive! We thought Nico-san was a slave-driver — please pardon my rudeness — but we had no idea until we were under Sonoda-san's instruction what that really meant. But also, we saw how supportive everyone is, so we toughed it out. We wanted to feel better about that time, not bitter, and it worked. As for the How, blame Kousaka, Minami and Sonoda. It was their idea, their invitation, and they trained us all."

At that, one of Nico's two "ghost members" — who had actually helped out a great deal, but not been singing or dancing — spoke up. "I always wondered what dancing was like, and even back-up dancing is terrifically hard," Yuzu said. She normally never had had a hair out of place, as Nico remembered, but now she was disheveled and sweaty. "I quite agree," said Nitta Rin, the other ghost member, and Yuzu's best friend.

Indeed, Nico had recruited two sets of best friends, so she'd always been a bit of a fifth wheel, in addition to having to nag and exhort the others — without delivering much joy at Otonokizaka, where students were surprisingly lackadaisical about appreciating the efforts of the clubs and their fellow students. If you were going to look at it honestly ... but anyway, what a shock. They had to have been practicing a lot, which seemed impossible. And when had Honoka, Umi and Kotori had time to do this? It must have cut heavily into their "date" time, too.

Umi was beaming at Nico, actually. When did Umi beam? It was so rare, it became a precious thing, she discovered. "Nico, that song's lyrics were wonderful. How did you manage it? Were you truly broken up with someone in middle school?"

Nico laughed. "No, no. I mean, first of all, you know how comforting I find sweet things, right? So that explains that part. When I wanted to imagine feelings of love for someone, I of course thought of my family. My mother — so giving, sacrificing everything for us. My siblings — so cute, so helpless, so adorable. And when I wanted to express sadness, and longing, and loss — well, do I have to say what I thought of?"

At that, she was surprised by a cough.

"When did Nicocchi write that, again?" Nozomi asked, with a hint in her voice of having a point to make.

Nico vaguely remembered, and was assisted by the others in pinpointing which of their performances it was written for.

"Forgive me, Nicocchi! I had no idea I broke your heart so," Nozomi said, dramatically.

Realizing what she was getting at, Nico turned to the four visitors. "Mimi and Agaha, I would bet you two practiced kissing. Same for you two, Rin and Yuzu. Probably in middle school."

Both sets of girls looked embarrassed, but didn't answer. "It's no big deal. Anyway, that's what the titty-monster here is hinting at. We were practicing kissing — already in high school and still unkissed as we were — and she stopped when she met our cool and clever student council president. Maybe there's like one percent of that in there — it was the closest thing to dating I'd ever had — but I think she's deluding herself that it's more than that."

When Nozomi shook her head, Nico countered "Yes you are, you silly shrine maiden." Everyone laughed. Nozomi started to say something, then thought better of it.

Yuzu, who had always been obsessive over dating and such, caught on quickly. "Toujou-san, if you are wondering if we've heard the rumors, we have. It's pretty clear that our former leader is no longer inexperienced in dating. At first, she told us idols wouldn't be allowed to date, you know. When I said, 'well, glad I'll never be one, then,' she changed it to 'be discreet and don't get caught.' I guess, since there're no photos out there of her kissing someone in public, she's still sticking to that."

Nico turned bright red, which set off another bout of general laughter.

Now Mimi coughed. "Nico-nii, if it's alright with you, your group invited us to perform at the send-off concert in the auditorium. Just one song, though we have to have, according to Koizumi-san, a backup song for an encore."

Nico nodded. For some reason, her eyes had teared up again.

They had a joint practice, just to give the idol-bu girls a taste of what it was like. The two former ghost members would periodically give up and rest, but Agaha and Mimi stuck it out. At the end, they just saluted Nico and told her "you've found your people, captain."

Ironically, given the song they'd performed, the whole group decided to go have sweets at the parfait place Eli and Nozomi frequented on their not-dates. A little time was allocated for them to all give themselves a little scrubbing with paper towels, soap and water in the bathroom, so they wouldn't smell embarrassingly bad for the jaunt.

As they left, Nico looked over at Honoka. As she did so, the genki girl winked at her. As she'd suspected, this had been Honoka's idea originally. Only she would think of reconciliation with her past and her discarded friends as the next step for Nico. She owed Honoka a lot for that.

It wasn't much, but Nico ostentatiously bought Honoka a big dessert that had nothing in common with manju and absolutely no adzuki beans anywhere near it. And because she was learning, she just as ostentatiously did the same for Umi, though in her case she didn't avoid manju on the side.

"You see how it is, Nozomi?" Kotori teased. "The ones she discarded are out of sight, out of sweets! Current and prospective girlfriends, on the other hand ..." The four idol research girls looked a little confused. Surely, Nico wasn't dating four of the Muse girls this year? Or wait, five, if you counted the rumored Nishikino Maki, who was conspicuously absent. Wait. That meant the "messy breakup with Nico" rumor was probably true, too.

They all turned and looked at Nico with new eyes, and that girl almost choked on her parfait. Her comrades in µ's treacherously laughed at her discomfort.

Since the cat was partly out of the bag, Nico didn't object — well, visibly — when Umi took her hand, helped her to her feet, and waved goodbye to the rest, still holding Nico's hand in hers. It still felt like she was in a dreamlike state. Because they'd gone for sweets, they went to Nico's house instead of archery practice. Nico would have to continue to confuse her siblings, unfortunately. She gave them the same story she had with Kotori, emphasizing that her and Maki weren't fighting — at least this time she could say that without feeling guilty. Regardless of her mother's feelings about all this — which Nico was afraid to ask about — she again ran interference for Nico when she and Umi retired to Nico's bed. Having to be somewhat quiet didn't ruin their lovemaking, which was very slow and tender. Nico did pepper Umi with questions, keeping them up later than they normally would stay up. Umi had her own questions, for that matter. Bringing Nico's two worlds together had given her so much to sort out, Nico decided it would take a few days to get her balance again. At least this had definitely taken her mind off of Maki for an evening.

* * *

Maki didn't know why she'd wandered by the door to the roof — was she regressing to the days before she joined µ's? Was she that pathetic? It took a while, but she recognized a song she'd seen Nico dancing to in a video. Were µ's doing Nico's old group's songs now? Why? Was it ethical? She vaguely remembered that Nico had mostly written the music, and two other girls had written the lyrics. Had they gone to them for permission? But then she heard some new voices. With a shudder, she jumped to the correct conclusion. µ's was literally letting Nico's old group — the one that had crushed her and her hopes and dreams — practice with them! It was completely outrageous!

She had to rush to the music room to compose herself. She probably felt more lonely and stressed out now than ever. All the good that performing with µ's had done for her was being wiped away. She had vaguely realized it, but she confronted one fact, squarely. None of this was anything she could discuss with her parents, even her mother.

But who, then? Maki had kept to herself, keeping up her studies. It had taken a lot to let Rin and Hanayo in, to be honest. Her social life had boiled down to µ's, and somehow she wasn't the hermetically sealed, tough loner she'd been when she started school. She needed to talk to someone before all of this ate away at her.

* * *

At the sweet shop, shortly after Nico and Umi left, Eli got a text. It was from Maki, and it was to the point. Eli blew out a puff of air and looked at it again.

**"Eli, I don't want to interrupt you tonight, but can we meet to talk, tomorrow? I'm not doing that well."**


	8. Eli OMaki: A Talk With Maki

**Summary:**

Eli tends to the melancholy of the diamond princess.

* * *

She showed Nozomi the text.

"Should I go, Elicchi?" was the response.

Eli started to say, "Of course not."

For one thing, hadn't Nozomi confronted Maki once already, about her tendency to shut everyone out, with incredibly good results? Really, she already had a big sister aura with Maki. Plus, the entire situation made Eli uncomfortable.

But hadn't she briefly considered with Maki that Eli and her might have the same view of Kotori's project? Nozomi and Honoka often bonded by hitting Akihabara to buy yuri manga and even anime videos and games. They were far more comfortable being open about girls dating than Eli ever would be. That Nozomi's company would be welcome for Eli, there was no doubt. But ... _Nozomi wasn't even on Maki's list of people to talk to directly._

"Yes, I think so, Nozomi. Are you done?"

Nozomi showed her empty mug. She gave Eli a hug. "I believe in you, Eli," she said.

She looked like she was just going to leave, but changed her mind and sat down on the edge of her chair.

"Maki needs someone now, almost as much as Nicocchi did. I think teasing Nico never did any good, and the same for Maki. It was only when I was dead serious that we ever connected. If Nico wanted to have fun, she went out with Honoka and Rin, right? And Maki with Hanayo and Rin. I think for serious girls like them, only certain people can have fun with them. I like to think I am that person for the cute and clever Elichika ..." Eli nodded.

"... but Maki needs a heart-to-heart with someone, not advice."

And with that, she gathered her bag and left.

Eli had texted Maki back after telling Nozomi they should probably meet alone. After a bit of chit-chat, they decided to meet at the coffee shop, then go to Maki's house. She ordered another coffee like the one she'd drunk, to take with her, and decided the same would probably suit Maki.

When the girl in question came through the door, it was a revelation. Maki had been putting a good face on things, other than the avoiding Nico business, when she went to practices. But now Eli could see someone falling apart. She was carelessly dressed, and looked **tired**. What good, she thought, would this do if it managed to save Nico but sink Maki?

They had made a wise decision, because they might not have been ready to leave when the shop closed hours later. Maki's feelings turned out to be complex way beyond what Eli had guessed. As Nozomi had guessed, simply getting them out seemed to do her a lot of good. Later that evening, Eli was able to reassure Maki that Nico hadn't done anything whatsoever with a mind to dismissing Maki or replacing her or disrespecting her. Even Eli had to agree that Nico was simply trying to do what Maki had told her to do - get herself together after losing Maki - and that the stricture by Maki that she should do so in isolation was simply impossible.

"Sometimes others see things we miss, Maki. Kotori did."

"But .." Maki began.

"But, also, I think people aren't seeing you very well right now. I was and am against this project. My best guess is that because of that I will be the last one they approach, after Nozomi and Umi work me over ..."

"But if you are ... "

"Maki do you want her back?"

"I don't know. No, I mean, not now. Maybe Nico didn't need time alone to figure things out, but I do."

"But you are feeling jealous, nonetheless. You can't have it both ways, even if your heart tells you you should."

Maki admitted it. They decided to continue talking at least once a week. Maki confessed the isolation had started to destroy her equanimity. Eli told her that she should form as many re-ties as possible. Maki didn't have friends outside of Mu's, so she should be cordial to Kotori and Umi, and Honoka if they went that far, and restore her friendship with Rin and Hanayo. And when she was ready, she might ask Nozomi for advice. Once you convinced her you weren't on the same page as her, she could be very wise.

"But shouldn't I try to convince Nico to ..." Eli was seeing her own thoughts mirrored by Maki, who was an admirable girl in every way. But hearing it from someone else, it became clear that it was the wrong path. "You can't," she interrupted.

She took Maki's hand. "Nico is really, truly, wholeheartedly grateful to the girls, especially the trio, right now. If you tried to get back together in the middle of a week, she'd give even you a rain-check. And if you begged her to come back to your side after that, Nico would only do it now if she could justify it and convince whoever it was that was next that it wasn't personal or a judgment on their attractiveness. I am serious. And Kotori and Umi say that stops the project. So you had better want an honest reconciliation and promise her something or she'll really get hurt and angry, even Nico, even with you."

She tried to read Maki's expression. When she'd mentioned the week, Maki had flinched. She probably realized how serious everyone took the one-week commitment. It would be an insult to the other girl and a black mark for Nico to go back on it.

"Maki, sleep on all this. Text me tomorrow." Eli had to catch the last train home. Eli gave Maki a long hug, then left.


	9. UmiNico 6: Third Day - Tidying Up & Nico

**Summary:**

After a whirlwind of events and drama the past few days, it's time to sit back and take

stock of where everyone is and where they're going. And tend to some wounded friends.

* * *

"Maki is sad. Tell Nico."

That's what anyone in Mu's would have said in the past, but what now?

Eli was used to overthinking everything, and she knew Umi and Maki shared that trait. She decided that even if she was going to help put a halt to the project eventually, she could still help the others now.

She started to text Nico, but hesitated, then called her.

"Nico, hi, this is Eli."

"Good evening, Eli. If this is a short call, Nico can take it, but if not, can Eli please call Nico in ten minutes? I am putting the youngest ones to bed."

She'd forgotten, as they all did quite often, that Nico was a half-time single parent

Probably, Cocoro didn't need much help, and if she remembered correctly, was doing a lot of the housework already.

The twins would probably soon be more independent, but would need someone in the house to watch them, just in case.

While pondering this, Eli managed to say "It might be a long call, how about fifteen minutes from now?"

"Okay - in Nico's room, since it might be sensitive. Eli-san is on the list of contacts for Maki after all."

Nico was perceptive and when it came to Maki, psychic. Was this all going to be one long education about things they'd forgotten about Nico? Well, Nico herself could be pretty callous and clueless, after all

Suddenly, she could see Maki's perspective again. Nico was such a cute, tiny thing. So seemingly helpless, and clearly in real anguish, it would be hard for people not to want to comfort her and side with her. In a lot of ways, she was like a little kid.

But she wasn't. She was a mostly grown woman, more than two years older than Maki, who really was the youngest person in their group.

But the other stuff - how giving Nico was, how competent she was when not crippled by depression - should be borne in mind, too.

Maki probably knew most of that. She was Nico's confidant, and had chosen her for a girlfriend, after all.

They had a good conversation, eventually. Eli conveyed that Maki had been falling apart and that she thought their conversation and the agreement to meet up every week was helping a lot. She didn't betray any specifics, and Nico didn't ask.

After they ended the call, Nico pondered it for a few minutes, then texted Maki.

* * *

**know you dont want contact with me and my extended crowd maki but i was talking with eli about you and i found out you are still feeling sad**

**nico still loves maki and she's the biggest part of the world after her family that doesnt change you know **

**and thsee things nico is doing they really are the only way nico knows how to do what maki said she should do**

**even if maki is still too mad at kotori or even honoka she should still socialize you know**

**speaking of that nico doesnt remmember maki telling her about piano recitals but if maki does one now that shes not actively practicing with mus could she tell us when and where **

**it is very wrong that nico only thought to ask maki that now**

**you are loved and admired makichan no one in the whole school doestn feel that way. a-rise raves about you tooi**

**please please donet be offended but if you are nico is sorry**

* * *

Maki looked at all the incorrect kanji and they somehow reminded her of something. It was when Nico's mother had been glanced by a car and was in the hospital. Nico was shaking and crying, and she had to text Cocoro to say she would meet her and take the train near to the hospital she'd been taken to.

This text reminded her of that - which meant Nico was crying when she sent it. You wouldn't know from the content, she decided.

Why did we ever get together in the first place if we're only going to hurt each other? she thought, but then changed her mind. Love was the problem, really, and now she thought all the love songs were idiotic. Ironically, the only one she could think of that wasn't misleading was the one Nico had written — including the lyrics — for her old group. Love was a sure route to having all the sweetness of the world leave you. Well. Nico was in pain and soldiering on, and could Maki do any less?

She decided to text Umi. She knew the girl turned off her phone to sleep, so she made a very long message.

* * *

**good morning umi i was upset when i talked with nico and said only eli rin and hanayo should contact me directly**

**at any rate nico has been honoring that but heard through eli that i wasnt doing well so she texted me and i decided we should probably talk over the phone but then i thought i should ask your permission because nico is this extremely sincere about the week date thing and you are for all purposes her girlfriend this week and i am still amazed you went along but i accept it**

**anyway, i remember texting you before in response to your questions and i realize you were very fair and honest and the first person who didnt make me feel like i was a villain**

**so i would like you to say what time and day would be a good one for me to call nico and talk for no more than a half hour**

**in case youre worried we dont get into screaming arguments and other than the very first time we dont even fight**

**eli is my sounding board and counselor nowadays it seems but i think nico and i still need to mend a few more fences and connect a little**

**i realize this completely contradicts everything i have been saying but in a funny way i think doing this will enable me to have my alone time from her with a clear mind so i am not thinking about her or our relationship but rather the things i want to be thinking about which are very big**

* * *

It turned out Umi had stayed up late doing homework and Nico was already asleep Umi was a little proud that she could make Nico happily sleepy so well and sh was in a good mood so she replied:

* * *

**hi maki still up tho nico is sleeping**

**tomorrow is fine to call**

**nico will be cramming like crazy since shes neglected her classes a little and after six she will be free**

**we didnt know so cocoro was told nico would be home by seven and nico already prepared dinner except putting everything in the oven or on the stove so the kids are fine**

**as you probably guessed these emotional things and you respecting them is the number one thing for me though i wont deny the other things are more wonderful than i had imagined**

**nico asked about how the school admired you before she texted so i imagine she mentioned that**

**eli isnt telling people what youve said but she did mention shed talk to you once a week which made us all relieved**

**i agree with nico-sempai we are already grateful to you for all youve done already and she also mentioned you might be doing piano recitals and might not but if you are i second her request that you give us plenty of warning so we can go and cheer you on and i can promise you i will sit on honoka if needed or rin to keep them from being boisterous**

**we all love you maki dont ever forget that**

* * *

Maki had a brief thought: _while she's telling me this she's sleeping with my girlfriend,_ then decided that was unworthy of her. And a short while later, both Maki and Umi went to sleep feeling satisfied. Umi had put off her homework because she realized, when Nico complained a bit about the number of training hours that they'd scheduled, that Nico was overcommitted. She could cut back a little, but it was a good time to get Nico to prioritize instead of saying yes to absolutely everything. Tomorrow, she, Honoka and Kotori had scheduled their first meeting to talk about the Nico project. She decided that Nico and her should spend the night at the Yazawas and actually discuss Nico's plans with them. With that settled, her homework went very quickly and easily.

* * *

Meanwhile, Honoka wasn't looking forward to the meeting tomorrow at all. She'd agreed to meet with Tsubasa early in the morning and it would probably be tense. The whole legitimacy of what they were trying to do was at stake. It was similar to the qualms Nico had after she had contact with Maki, she decided. If she and Tsubasa were going to become a real, full-time couple, she'd have to withdraw her offer to be part of the project. She knew Nico would understand completely. The real problem was, Honoka's tummy, which was very wise about telling her when good things to eat were at hand, also gave her reliable feelings about things. She'd often had a gut reaction before something going wrong with Mu's became obvious, for instance. And she had a bad gut feeling about the project without her. For one thing, having really watched several videos of Nico's group, she realized why Nico had been so cranky and what her problem was. What if Mu's failed? What if I was a failure? What if some student transferred in next year and created their own group and won Love Live!? How would I feel? Not good, she thought. It was nice to think her gratitude would overcome her wounded pride, if they managed to save the school, but it probably wouldn't. And Nico had a different cause, but just as dear to her heart — making people smile by singing and dancing, which was, basically, her dear father's last request.

There was buried animosity there, and it was a shame.

Honoka and Rin were the only two people who saw a certain side of Nico-chan. Utterly without any pretension. Laid-back. Fun-loving. Light. Giggling. Even Maki, she was pretty sure, hadn't seen it. Nico was too intimidated by her, too desperate for her approval. For her family, she had to be responsible at all times. For most people, she had to put on her facade. If people were shocked Nico was such a good actress, they shouldn't be: she was on stage every day, all day, and in character.

Honoka had pulled back a little, afraid, after seeing Nico break down over Maki. Now, Tsubasa might do the same even over the idea of her being with Nico before they got together. She decided if worst came to worst she could still be a caring friend and help out whoever was next in line — probably Hanayo, given her close affinity with Nico already.


	10. Eli OMaki 2: From Ayase Eri's Journal

**Summary:**

Eli's take on the project and Maki's situation, from her journal. A longer account of their meeting at Maki's house.

* * *

I have not started writing again in this journal because I am on board with Kotori's project to rehabilitate Nico. Let's make that clear. In fact, the only part I agree with is keeping notes on how it affects everyone involved. Which I am doing at this moment.

I am Ayase Eli, president of the student council of Otonokizaka National Girls Academy. Moreover, and more importantly at this moment, I am also one of the nine members of the popular school idol group µ's. Two of our members, even though they are obviously both girls, decided to be a couple, then broke up — sort of — and left the older of the two feeling despondent.

One of our other members decided to ask her out, but in a very insane way: only for a week. Nonetheless, they were like a couple for that week, even indulging in shameless sexual activity. Far from being embarrassed about it, even though she is the daughter of the director of the academy, that girl, one of our second years, is almost boastful about it. The level headed one of the second-year trio — they are kind of a gang together — unfortunately can refuse the director's daughter Kotori nothing, as far as I can make out. Umi Sonoda is normally proper and dutiful, but lets Minami Kotori drag her into things.

She even sacrificed her virtue to this strange whim that Kotori (and probably the other member of the second-year gang, our leader, Kousaka Honoka) jumped on. The younger of the girl idol lovers is much more sensible, and at least had a relationship with the older girl that is — well, I won't say normal, but perhaps typical of an all-girls school.

They have pointed out that they are doing other things on these dates to restore Nico (the older girl) to her confidence and keep her moving forward. All of those things could be done without the crazy parts, surely.

At any rate, even if they are succeeding as they claim and Nico is getting better, the couple in question had two people, after all. And no one, seemingly, but me was paying attention to the other one, Nishikino Maki. Well, Nozomi claims Nico can't NOT pay attention to her, but if so, I would say that makes the "Date Nico Project" an even worse idea.

At any rate, things went from better to worse, without ever being discussed, and Maki has quit our group over it. That was merely the biggest red flag after many others. So it was not with complete surprise, but definitely with dismay, that I saw a text from Maki when several of us from µ's were getting parfaits with Nico's old idol group. Honoka had the notion to reconcile them with Nico by having them perform a song with us. It seems to me like something out of a manga, but I will admit Nico seemed happy about it, on balance. And they worked very hard, despite not being in shape like the nine of us are.

As for Maki?

**Eli, I don't want to interrupt you tonight, but can we ** **meet to talk? I'm not doing that well.**

I came to a decision. As most of our group had left already, nothing was really keeping me in the parfait shop. For that reason, I texted back.

**Let's meet now at the coffee shop, it's on your way, then go to your place. I**

**wouldn't ****want Alisa ****accidentally interrupting us or overhearing the discussion.**

To which she agreed, immediately.

* * *

Maki had told Nico that, in general, the only µ's members she wanted to talk to right now were myself and her two fellow first-years, Hoshizora Rin and Koizumi Hanayo.

When we got to the stately Nishikino home, Maki let us in. No one else was home, and we went to the dining room to talk. It was immediately clear to me that whatever progress Nico was making was coming at Maki's expense. She had obviously been crying, and it probably was not the first time.

"This is a nightmare for me, Eli," she said when she sat down after making us tea. "I mean, my ex-girlfriend is sleeping around and people are acting like that's wonderful news. And I can't talk to anyone. I feel completely alone, every day. It's like I was when I entered school, only worse. No one will even consider that maybe I have some insight into Nico's problems, either, even though I had much more than one week to learn all about her. You know what? When I said we should take a break, I meant just that. I was hoping both of us could get back into our school work — well, I admit that did work out — but also she could learn to be more than just someone's girlfriend, and maybe if things were still there, we'd get back together again."

"Now?" It was the first thing I got a chance to say. Well, ask.

"Now, I don't know. I mean, it's not like I'm fanatic about purity or anything, and it's not like I think Kotori and Umi and maybe Honoka are bad girls or anything …"

I quirked an eyebrow.

"But I mean, it feels like she's burying any possibility of that as this goes on, yet she's still all sad and mopey about it."

"You know, if Nico wants to hold true to her week with Umi, I can see that. She might say something like 'If I can't honor a commitment to Umi, can you trust me to honor one to you?' "

Maki looked a bit more upset.

"But that will end, as you say. What do you want to happen next? I will assume you aren't keeping track of how many times they do it, it's just the fact they did it at all? Anyway, Honoka's turn is probably coming up, as bizarre as that is to you and me."

"Not just us. I hear the rumors and people think it's weird all over Otonokizaka. Admittedly, they don't know for sure but their guesses are getting pretty good."

"But anyway, Maki … what do you want? What do you want from her? From Nico?"

"Is being more independent and really thinking about why she's so insecure and dependent to begin with completely off the table?"

I thought about it. "Yeah, it probably is. For one thing, they all say this is a good way to overcome both of those. But do you want her back? I think that's the only real question. Can you stand to take her back? Is your relationship tainted now? Now is the time to decide, I think. Every cycle of this project is just going to drive you two further apart," It was the big question and she couldn't avoid it any more.

"I don't really know." That was Maki's honest reply.

"That will definitely lose out to Honoka's 'Let's try, Nico-chan!' "

"Which shouldn't be poking its nose into our affairs to begin with!"

I had to be accurate. And fair.

"Ummm, Maki, if you don't want her back, you have no affairs to butt into."

Things got much better after that, and we agreed to meet up at least once a week going forward. Maki got a lot off her chest and when I left, she seemed much more at peace.

But all these big questions I am noting down, about their future relationship? Well, we never revisited them.


End file.
